10/6/2013

Today was interesting I realized if my bio family really wanted to have a relationship with me they would make an effort to do so, but they don't make any sort of an effort so I guess they really don't want to have any relationship with me. And it fucking hurt to realize that. It hurt to realize that I am not loved by those people. That they won't care for me in any way. They never did. My bio mom claims that she did but when it comes down to it. If I need money to pay for school or anything important. She doesn't give a shit but she will pay for my two younger sisters to be in private school and for my 46 year old sister to live in the same house with her. Realizing that she never really did love me and that she only put up with me as her punching bag and as an excuse not to take care of her children. Is something that will always hurt me. I feel like I shouldn't have to go through this hurt but I do and that's not fair and for all of you people who are going to tell me life isn't fair. I know goddamn well it isn't fair I fucking know I just feel the need to say it isn't.